The Most Washable Substance on Earth

There is no need to pad this little anecdote to make it more verbose or palatable to the reader. It is what it is.

I was walking an elderly basset hound named Annie when she realized, suddenly, that she had to poop. So she pooped. On the sidewalk. In front of a cop. It was then that I realized I was out of bags. What is a professional dog walker to do? There was no garbage around like there usually is on the ground in Chicago. I took the only available option, and cleaned up after my little canine friend using the two pooper scoopers at the ends of my wrists that I was born with.

I did receive a modicum of satisfaction from the fact that the copper was grossed out. According to him, my act was "...fucking disgusting!"