My Life As A 28-Year Old Intern

- i am older than all of the junior staff members.

- i was discussing fashion with my 20-year old co-intern, when she disdainfully described a dress she tried on as 'something a 30-year old would wear'.

- my peers are the five people who bought lindsay lohan's record.

- 24 to 28 is the perfect age to get married. anything beyond that and you'll be dead before your kids get to college.

- the intern in the cubicle next to mine was born in 1988. i got my period in 1988.

Lookin' Goooooooood

As if it is not already awkward and embarrassing enough to walk out of the public bathroom at work with your shirt accidentally tucked partway into the waistband of your pants... please picture that scene occurring whilst wearing maternity pants with a waistband made of flesh-tone elasticy stuff that is pulled all the way up to just under your boobs.

I am the prettiest girl in Chicago.